Intruders
by Yamirenamon
Summary: Sima Yi and Guo Huai are suddenly awaken from the sounds of robbers rummaging through their home in the 20th century. Though much to the robbers' dismay the residents are vampires that are not about to let a light meal escape. Rated for blood. Mild yaoi.


Sima Yi woke to the sound of unusual movement coming from a few rooms away. He was used to hearing the faint sounds of hard footsteps, the occasional bickering, and doors slamming from the neighbors. The strategist hated living so close to other people. Then again the noise problem would not be nearly as bad if the foundations were sturdier. For almost the entire first year of living in the cramped apartment Sima Yi cursed the idiots that designed and built such a horrid living facility. He especially despised whoever invented dry wall. He did not experience any uninterrupted sleep as well during that year. But of course it did not help that he slept during the daylight hours while all the neighbors were awake and busy. In time Sima Yi learned to adapt to the noise just like everything else he learned to adjust to for nearly two thousand years. Immortality was not without its price. Yi was about to dismiss the rather loud noise when he heard it again. It was definitely from inside the apartment.

"Boji"

"Mmmmm…"

"Boji, wake up."

"Mmm…What is it?"

"I think we've got intruders."

"Wha...," Guo Huai snapped fully awake when he himself heard the sounds of house hold items being roughly handled.

If the intruders made any attempt to check if the apartment was occupied then they didn't do a thorough job. Not that anyone would blame them. The two men of the ancient world were sleeping in a make-shift linen closet. A cramped space for even just one person to sleep in, but it provided the best shelter. Sima Yi and Guo Huai were now listening carefully to the activity just a few rooms away to guess how many had broken in.

"Sounds like there's two of them," Guo Huai whispered.

"How perfect," Sima Yi smirked.

"We can't kill them," Guo Huai quickly responded, "I'm more than certain that the neighbors can hear them as well. And they'll call the police if we make more noise by attacking them."

"I know," Sima Yi sighed, "Can't even leave a mark on them. They're getting smarter and smarter."

"Well that's a first coming from you," Huai said.

"I said smarter, not wiser. If the human race was any wiser they wouldn't be noisily stealing our stuff."

"So what's the plan?"

"I'm not about to let a good meal go to waste. What time is it?"

Guo Huai checked the watch on his wrist, "Close to eight thirty. The sun should be setting soon."

"Good," Sima Yi smiled.

The strategist slid the closet door open enough to peek through it. The robbers were not in the living room from what he can see.

"We can make it look like an accident," Sima Yi spoke again.

"How so?" Guo Huai was now intrigued.

"Easy, scare them into defending themselves. Chase at least one of them into the kitchen. They'll grab one of the knives for sure."

"And by keeping them alive they'll have an alibi."

"As if anyone will believe them. It's the twentieth century. No one truly believes in vampires except for the ones inside their television."

Suddenly they heard a loud crash and the sound of glass shattering.

"Get a load of these pictures! Bunch of fags!"

"If they damage any of those photos I'll murder them," Guo Huai growled.

"Don't back down on your own advice now," Sima Yi assured the other man.

Sima Yi quietly slid the closet door completely open. The living room didn't contain much. An old sofa and a small TV highlighted the room and it looked as if the robbers were saving those for last. All of the treasures they had collected over the many centuries were within the bedroom. Guo Huai had estimated well that the sun was about to set. Heavy curtains that covered the large window next to the front door were left slightly open. A soft ray of sunlight divided the room in half. Sima Yi made his way towards the curtains and closed them. With speed too fast for the normal human eye to follow Guo Huai slammed the front door shut, blocking out the last of the sunlight. The loud noise startled the robbers. Artificial light from each room flashed on as the swift man made his way into the room they were looting. Sima Yi made his way to turn on the lights in the kitchen. A loud hiss came from within the bedroom following shouts of various swear words coming from the intruders. One of the men came crashing out of the bedroom as he was thrown out. He tried to escape in a panic and was blocked by Sima Yi. The strategist bared his own fangs and hissed loudly.

"Shit man!" the man backed off.

Sima Yi did not like to use such overly dramatic theatrics. It always made him feel like a fool. Yet it was making his plan work out well. The man backed himself into the kitchen and quickly grabbed one of the large cooking knives from the island.

'_Perfect'_

Sima Yi lunged at the man with inhuman speed, grabbing the hand that held the knife closed so he would not drop it and the wrist of the other hand.

'_A quick slash to the forearm should draw enough blood.'_

But just when Sima Yi was about to carefully force the man into self-injury a loud gunshot boomed throughout the tiny apartment. If the strategist's heart was still beating then it would have been racing in fear. The awful feeling of anxiety that rushed through him caused him to cut the man's arm deeper than he had intended.

"BOJI!" Sima Yi yelled louder than the now bleeding man's screams of pain.

"I'm fine!" Guo Huai shouted back, "I've disarmed him and got him shut in the bathroom."

The sounds of panic from the apartments above them added even more to the noise.

"Well, at least somebody is going to call the police now," Guo Huai also said.

Sima Yi was only more than relieved to know that Huai had not been shot. The man in his grip was still crying out in pain. He was also bleeding rather quickly and onto the kitchen tile floor. Sima Yi eased his grip on the hand that held the knife and allowed it to hit the floor with a loud clatter. He then guided the man towards the pantry and retrieved a decent size bowl to collect the blood. Any other time in the past he would have drank the blood straight from a human. But with the humans becoming increasingly smarter in detecting physical evidence to crimes it was now a luxury of the past. The police showed up, along with paramedics, right after sunset. The injured burglar was sent off almost immediately. The other one took a bit of time to cuff as he had locked himself from within the bathroom and was trying to convince the officials of what really happened.

"I've heard many crazy stories while on the job," one of the officers said as he wrote down Yi and Huai's accounts of the night, "I'll say, this is the first time I've heard anyone say they were attacked by vampires. Though I am surprised you guys were able to fight them off."

"It wasn't easy," Guo Huai said, "Are the residents upstairs alright?"

The bullet that had been shot went through the ceiling.

"The woman in the apartment above is unharmed. The shot went through her TV while it was on, that's about the only damage."

A few of the other officers talked to and tried to calm the neighbors who were curious and frightened.

"The damage isn't too bad," Sima Yi said as he returned from his inspection of the bedroom.

Everyone had left after a few hours. The apartment complex was still busy with all the residents now restless. For the two Chinese men the rest of the night would be spent cleaning up their apartment. Guo Huai made it top priority to salvage the photo collection. None of them were harmed. But now there was broken glass inside the carpet from one of the broken frames. Photography was one of Huai's favorite inventions throughout the times. Memories began to run into each other and seem the same after living for so long. He had almost completely forgotten the faces and voices of his friends, family, and comrades during the Three Kingdoms era. How wonderful it would have been to have photos from that time.

"We need to drink this before it gets too thick," Sima Yi said as he walked into the room.

Prior to the police's arrival he had hidden the collection of blood he had gotten. Sima Yi handed Guo Huai a tall glass filled with the blood and sat down on the floor next to him. Huai drank half of his glass down in a matter of seconds.

"It's kind of cold now," Huai said.

"Would have been warmer is the police hadn't taken so long," Sima Yi said before taking a swing of his glass.

"It used to be easier getting a meal," Huai said as he looked through more photos, "Back when it wasn't so easy to keep record of people"

"You mean days before the Social Security system ruined our cover?" Sima Yi said as he held up a dusty crystal wine glass.

"When was the last time we used those?"

"Not since the American Civil War," the strategist said as he dusted it off with a towel.

The two traveled a lot. They mostly did so to keep their cover when suspicion of their existence became too much to stay. But also wars provided prime time for easy feeding. For Guo Huai it was a less guilty way of feeding.

"Do we have anymore blood?"

Sima Yi knew what Guo Huai was implying.

"Some, yes."

It still tasted cold and had thickened up a bit, but the blood seemed to taste better from an antique crystal glass.

"This feels so cliché now," Guo Huai said, "We should watch _Dracula_ when we're done cleaning."

"Oh please no! You know I hate that movie," Sima Yi cringed.

Guo Huai could not help but laugh out loud. He then wrapped his arm around Sima Yi's waist and drew him closer into a kiss. And in all the centuries of tasting human blood none of it was ever sweeter than the taste of Zhongda's lips.


End file.
